Well. Colonel Sanders from KFC had rose from the dead, because someone had played Thriller at his grave, and had been running to my boss every Monday telling her me and my supervisor do nothing on Sunday. So I started announcing over the radio every little thing we got finished and every move we made over the radio to him on a private channel down to foot steps we took. So when my supervisor was vacuuming I held my radio up to the vacuum and went THIS IS THE SOUND OF MY SUPERVISOR WORKING AND IN A FEW MINUTES I WILL LET YOU HEAR ME and then a few minutes later when I had to wipe a window after washing it I wiped it where it squeaked and said THIS IS THE SOUND OF ME WORKING. Then at some point he yelled on the radio “Get off the god damn radio and stop saying bullshit about me.” over the public channel, I’m guessing by accident, and I said “Better not cuss over the radio Colonel Sanders, security might hear you. Isn’t that right, security?” to which he didn’t say anything because security gets extremely ape shit pissed off about things like that, not to mention the people who run that place. So then I quit for a while until he ran into me looking like he was about to hyperventilate and cry and was like WHO’S SAYING THAT SHIT ABOUT ME IT’S ALL LIES BLAH BLAH and then he ran up the stairs nearby before I could really reply. Oh yeah and before that I said I caught Delbert, who’s a rock with a face drawn on it who’s our mascot, doing nothing in the break room and that he should tell my boss and then I said I’d setup a write up sheet for him that he can just come sign and then a few minutes later I said I had it ready and later at the end of the day I told him he forgot to sign it. But then later on that day I called him on the private channel yet again and sounded worried saying I think toilets normally flush clockwise but there’s one in one men’s bathroom he should check that’s flushing counter-clockwise and he wouldn’t reply to me at all so I started really getting bad and I sounded like I was about to cry and went COLONEL SANDERS ARE YOU MAD AT ME? I’M SORRY COLONEL SANDERS; IS OUR HOT DATE OFF TONIGHT? I LOVE YOU! Then I kept asking if he was there and even did a radio check afterward and then I was like I’M LONELY! So then after that I kept saying random stupid shit like MAMMA LAMMA in random voices and such and the gave him play by play of me and and my supervisor clocking out and me putting my coat and hat on and putting the radio up.

The end.

Another day he was doing the same shit so I caused his radio to beep every couple of seconds for two hours straight while by chance he was painting and couldn’t touch his radio without getting paint all over it. I was told that his hands were shaking and that he said he was going to kick my ass if I didn’t stop. Of course I reveled in this and was even more motivated to keep going and it was the best game available on the radio out of the simple built in games available. Oh yeah and if you’re someone from where I work reading this looking for a chance to write me up by trying to make it out like I screwed off all day doing that, think again. For one, I can do multiple things at once sometimes and that only took like a total of 15 minutes of my time out of the whole shift which I skipped my two 15 minute breaks that day because of doing that. Some of it only took like 4-5 seconds to do WHILE WALKING THROUGH A CORRIDOR OR SOMETHING TO DO WORK WHILE I COULDN’T POSSIBLY DO WORK BECAUSE OF WALKING TO DO SAID WORK so uh… don’t try to tell me I’m wasting time doing that, I don’t know what you can possibly finish in a job in 4-5 seconds while walking down a hallway to do a task over 50 feet away, enlighten me if you possibly can please. Your little fantasy land of me fucking off all day just because I do things to alleviate the boredom of working is more delusional than I was when I was screaming at people over conspiracy theories. Also, don’t tell me I need more work because I’m bored, the work itself is mind numbingly boring.